I’ve tried writing a letter to you many times but have always run out of words. Maybe I should have just sent you a card. Those are easier. But, there’s something special about this Mothers’ Day. It’s your first one as a Mamaiji and my first one as a Mom. A stupid card is not going to do justice to this milestone, so a letter it is.
For as long as we’ve known each other, you have been my person.
As a child I was stuck to your legs. Your puchru (tail), people called me. I remember countless evenings spent in your company answering quizzes from the Bournvita Quiz books while you cooked the evening dinner. And, I remember all those costumes you made for my fancy dress contests. However, my favourite memory is of the year that I decided I wanted to participate in every category of the Iran League contest – from essay writing to rangoli to *cringe* singing – and you just made it happen even though it meant crazy amounts of work for you. Or maybe, my favourite memory is all those Saturday’s we spent going from keyboard class to badminton class to computer class to Mamaiji’s home. The fact is, we’ve spent so many amazing moments together it’s hard to choose just one.
As a teenager, my friends found it strange that I could be so close to you. That I would choose you as the person in whom I confided – highly irregular for any teen admittedly. But the truth is that you were super cool and I have loved having you as my best friend. After all, which mom leaves her own house and goes for a sleepover so that her daughter can have her 18th birthday party at home. And, which mom wakes up in the middle of the night to give her daughter company while she studies for her board exams. Only you.
I also will never forget the days we have spent in hospital while you fought Cancer, not once but twice. Both times we held each other tightly as the world came apart around us. Despite all the nasty drugs and the side-effects, I relished the days we spent tucked into bed together talking about love, life, family and just ‘being’ in the moment.
The most ridiculous memory I have about this time is rehearsing my final presentation with you while you were recovering from your 4th round of chemo. Family members thought I was crazy for bothering you with it. But, there has never been a single thing I have submitted without reading it aloud to you and I wasn’t about to start now. When you were diagnosed, you told me we would fight and there hasn’t been a single day you haven’t done this. For this, I thank you. Thank you for not giving up because I regularly try to imagine a life where you weren’t there for my graduation or my wedding or the birth of my baby and I just can’t picture it.
I thank my stars that you were there with me holding my hand as I pushed my son into this world and then there with me in those long nights while I figured out this breast-feeding business. Even though I was a mom now and should be the responsible adult you spoilt me in every way possible. From feeding me food to waking up with me in the middle of the night to listening to my rants about whatever new thing it was, you’ve done it all. Importantly, when everyone out there was showering their love on the newest family member, you knew that all I wanted to hear was that, for you, I was still your baby.
Thank you, I Love You, You are the Best. All of these phrases don’t do justice to our relationship so I won’t say them today. All I will say is that I am blessed to have entered this world as your child. You are my person and I can only hope that I am the same for my son as he grows up.
Happy Mothers’ Day.